To begin with, the end, or so I thought...

    As I sat pondering if I was 4,212 or 4 years old at the moment my blue jay came squawking, screeching his lovely tune through my mind to shake me back to pen in hand. Tears streamed down my face. Emotion I no longer wished to contain floated through the ink like it had been there... Waiting all the while. I wondered how to express these feelings, insights, newnesses of Muchness I had accepted into my beingness. Then he entered into my mind once again...

   He had many names, faces, embodiments he had mastered in his displaying of oneself to me. But there was one in particular I like to begin with, the end, or so I thought... So cleverly his name disguised as human and emotion at the same time period contained in speckles of freckled miracles all along his radiant outline of physical form. Lines on his face showed of deep thought and deep happiness, both at the same time period he appeared as a mystery to me which I greatly enjoyed for until Phil entered into my energy field no one had ever been able to surprise me and oh how I enjoyed surprises... Especially the ones you could feel...

   Now at this point I suppose I should address that in no way give all credit to this man for my muchness... It is after all My Muchness... however, I do have the beautiful ability to now share the honor of my own beauty with all the men who had entered and left my life. Each helping me along my journey in his own unique and lovely way. Please remember one's perception of "lovely" often differs from another and in finding my muchness this was the most valuable lesson obtained, retained, reframed, and now to entertain... With all. 

   I suppose the importance of each is as majestic holy and downright as important as one views the bible. So each loving light showing profit is entitled, no... Worthy of... Their own book (or chapter). (and no certain order of time framed timeline as each lesson followed no "linear path"... Thank goodness! That would have proved quite boring!)