Phil/David...it was always David...

Phil/David... It was, always David.

   Phil reminded me it was okay to feel and that I had quite a few buried feelings and every time I would feel, I'd feel David. Phil reminded me I desire joy in my life and every time I would have, or think of, Joy... I thought of David. I didn't realize how many emotions (feelings) I had been suppressing by going on with my works of spiritual learnings until I suppose there were no more healings to be done at this point and that is when I mostly remembered, thought of, and desired, David.

   David was my blue boy My Free Bird my energy that connected me to my innocent (not so innocent) youth. Even in our forties we were just young lovers, old friends, and two hearts separated by one confused fire ever burning. even now the tears pour from my heavens basking in the longing for my david. I didn't know how to let him go although it had been months and I had heard of his engagement weeks before I didn't want to learn to let him go. Oh no. Not my beloved David. My innocence, my youth, my passion, my fire, my heart's and souls only true desire, my blue boy, my eternal, my David.

   I believe Divine time enjoyed playing between us. Our flame could rekindle the warmth of the whole world in a single smile. Divinity itself was probably fearful of the consumption available if ourselves ever aligned or misaligned for that matter. Have you ever known someone as the leaves know the breeze on a fall day is coming to wipe them away. To lay up on the ground watching winter do its best to strangle out any life weaker than its own month of living death. As each leaf decides to cling until its own perfect time to release and finally fly to its shallow grave. Knowing after the month of composing under the once shade of its own house shadow that new replacement would face the same never ending challenges of the cycle of love, life, and winter. That was our love my David the tree and I every leaf. Deciding the balance between destiny and fate Fall after Fall after Fall. Come Autumn your winter awaits.