BooBack, Boozie, Bokito, BooBoo WaaWaa

BooBack, Boozie, Bokito, BooBoo WaaWaa

   Another morning of fog and frogs and confusion. I set working the jumbo word search my daughter had brought me the day before. Looking for the word "change" brought many memories flooding in. The horn honked, Brute was gone and again it was boo and I alone at the table... And again my mind drifted to David…

   As I sit at this table we made together

Inside the walls we painted together

Looking at the bed where we made love together

I'm left still pondering wondering why we are not together

   I found two feathers stuck together

Twins from the owl left in our forever

I know in my heart you'll be coming home

When your days of growing are sown are sown

   I want to burn down these walls

I've tempered my flame

Loves dying embers rekindled again…

Again…

   I'll send words of our love till I run out of stamp

As I sit in our love, warm fires, tears damp...

   Words seem to soothe me, but change was always hard I've heard said. However, I tend to disagree (I tend to disagree a lot). Change isn't "hard", change is inevitable. It'ss the adjusting one always finds uncomfortable, and comfort for me was diminishing rapidly anymore. And for this (like most uncomfortable moments) I was grateful. For it takes quite a stirring from the oars in the stars to start the universe moving and only time would tell the secrets that would overspill out onto the Earth and all throughout the galaxies. if it weren't for the churning of learning, the pain of growth, one would not make room for "new" and newness was my birthright I had chosen, when deciding to be born again into my fresh raw skin of Muchness.

   However, "change" would have to wait at least in the jumbo book as BooBoo was doing his best to hear my ridiculous laugh this morning. Digging his face into the bed clawing wildly shaking his tail, This was after all his best move for receiving the attention he desired... And in that beautiful moment a glimpse of clarity. Change had occurred, as I stepped away from my fierce search and enjoyed the moment laughing crazily at ol' Boo and all his magnificent wisdom of all I could ever need at precisely the Divine moment… BooBoo, my onliest man ever, the longest relationship I've ever been in and he loved me whether I had food in my hands or not. I could tell what I was truly feeling looking into his eyes. My truth mirror never lied. He displayed outwardly with the courage of a lion what I could often hide from my own self, fear, rage, desire. BooBoo had no walls to build around his emotions. He had one goal at all times, me. And we shared a love I had never experienced with a human, not even David. His love and mine was sacred, written in the stars before we were aware and oh what eventful years we had together, that ol' Boo and I. There is an old song about old dogs, children, and strawberry wine I found to be a favorite of mine and often reminded me of Boo.

   The word jumped from the page as if it was never hidden in the jumbo search. "Change" had been found... No, presented, and I accepted it, like it was as easy as finding a word in a book. I enjoyed the morning like many others stroking boobacks ego the way he justly deserved until he fell asleep, head tucked tightly under blanket and left me once again to discover my own self-emotion without his reflection cast upon me... Again I went to the table and peered out the door to receive messages from the trees.